


Honorifics

by Recluse



Category: Free!
Genre: I don't even know anymore, M/M, dumb life anecdotes from nitori aiichirou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 04:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/948741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Recluse/pseuds/Recluse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People have layers, layer after layer, Nitori thinks he's heard that before. But it really applies to some, especially his senpai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honorifics

When he finds out Matsuoka-senpai is The Matsuoka Rin from long ago, he can't help but be thrilled. That sight hadn't left him since that time, the power of his team and the way they swam, as if one unit broken into quarters.

When he finds out how Matsuoka-senpai really is, or is now, he's not disappointed. Sort of. He's a little unsettled by how different he is from that short moment at the swim meet years ago, but disappointed is too strong a word, senpai isn't awful--

\--All right yes, he's disappointed. But he's not severely so, it's only a little bit of disappointment that happens to surface. Reason triumphs over imagination, and he reminds himself that he never really knew Matsuoka-senpai from back then, just assumed that he smiled that widely all the time.

* * *

Matsuoka-senpai is really quiet, at first, a little rude and hard to deal with, but he helps Nitori with his English homework and induldges in his questions, so Nitori takes pleasure in being with him. Matsuoka-senpai isn't cruel, just a little dismissive, and Nitori can deal with that. He is just a first year after all, and Matsuoka-senpai has probably seen and done a lot, considers Nitori still a child.

His senpai is a cool and mature type, he giggles a little when he thinks about it that way, walking down the rain-slicked sidewalk, umbrella in hand.

A drop of red against the grey catches his interest, and he squints, looking across the street, a little shocked when he finds that it's Matsuoka-senpai on the other side, crouching.

He thinks about running over, but before he can, Matsuoka-senpai rises up again, and Nitori watches instead, eyes widening when he sees the small head of a cat pop out of his senpai's jacket.

Curiosity leads him to follow behind, trailing the red hair. He closes his umbrella quietly and hides behind a pole when Matsuoka-senpai stops, takes the cat -- it's so small, Nitori reasons that it's probably a baby -- out of his jacket and drops it in the doorway of an abandoned school, away from the rain.

When Matsuoka-senpai gets called out, "Hey Matsuoka, why are you saving your fish? You have to eat to maintain energy!", Nitori cheerfully cuts in and suggests that maybe Matsuoka-senpai wants to save it for later, he's too full now. He gets a small hit in the head for that in the dorm room, "Why'd you say that, idiot", but laughs it off.

His senpai is really cool, he can't help but think before falling asleep, really cool and kind.

* * *

Matsuoka-senpai often doesn't show his uncool side, but Nitori is lucky enough to often catch when he does.

He finally 'accidentally' runs into him when he's feeding the kitten, much bigger than the last time Nitori saw it, and Matsuoka-senpai turns red when he appears.

"What are you doing here, Nitori?!"

"I- I was in the area shopping, ah-- Is this your cat, senpai?"

Matsuoka-senpai turns redder, doesn't answer, just stands straight and walks off. Nitori laughs a little when he thinks he's out of earshot, though the grim look Matsuoka-senpai sends him shuts him up quick.

He crouches down to say hello to the kitten, who cautiously meets his fingers, then rubs against his hand. He's enamored.

Matsuoka-senpai crouches down next to him, and the kitten turns towards him, nuzzling his knee.

"Senpai, you came back."

He rolls his eyes at Nitori, still pink in the cheeks. "I wasn't done feeding her."

"So you're a girl then." Nitori says, smiling at the kitten.

A piece of fish is shoved in his face rather suddenly.

"You can feed her, you know. Save me the trouble."

"Really?"

The sudden bonding sends a thrill up Nitori's spine. Senpai has never done anything like this before, offered Nitori something. Nitori had always been the one to ask questions, as annoying as he could be, senpai still answered--

"Oi, Nitori."

"A-ah, right." He gingerly grabs the fish from his senpai's hand and holds it out to the kitten, who paws at it curiously before taking a bite. He smiles wider.

"I've never had a pet at home." Nitori says softly. The kitten purrs when he pets her.

"Neither did I."

"You just knew how to take care of a kitten? That's incredible, senpai."

"It's just a cat." He shrugs, but Nitori smiles widely anyways, because despite the way Matsuoka-senpai acts, he's a little pink when he says that, turns his head away in embarrassment at the praise.

I'm getting somewhere, Nitori thinks.

* * *

He's being shaken, and he opens his eyes blearily.

"Senpai...?"

He's standing on the ladder, looking distressed. Nitori wakes up immediately.

"What is it? Is something--?"

Matsuoka-senpai puts a finger up to his lips, telling Nitori to quiet down. He does, but not without sending a curious glance in his senpai's direction.

After a minute, Matsuoka-senpai sighs.

"Nitori."

"Y-Yes?"

"There's something weird at the window."

Nitori's eyes widen, glancing at the window, and sure enough, there's a strange shadow. He glances back at Matsuoka-senpai in terror.

"W-w-what should we do?"

"Check it."

"Eh?! Me?!"

Despite himself, he whispers, "But senpai, what if it's some strange animal..."

Matsuoka-senpai gives him a look, and Nitori wilts a little, but doesn't budge, clinging to his blanket. "S-senpai, I'll check it, but you have to come with me to the window, please?"

He crawls down the ladder and motions for him to come down too, and Nitori sighs with relief. He comes down the ladder slowly, then, trembling a little, walks towards the window, Matsuoka-senpai not far behind.

He cautiously opens the curtain and Matsuoka-senpai screams when something red emerges. His scream causes Nitori to scream, and then another dormmate is knocking on the wall, or rather, pounding on the wall shouting, "Shut up, god, it's two in the morning!"

The run to turn on the lights and almost collapse when they realize it's a newspaper ad for a horror movie that hit their window.

"...Don't ever mention that to anyone."

"Right, senpai."

Nitori almost laughs, half an hour later, thinking about it.

He hears Matsuoka-senpai snicker softly in the bunk below him, and smiles widely before falling asleep.

* * *

When they run into Nanase-san and Tachibana-san, Matsuoka-senpai visibly stills. He turns on his heel without saying anything.

Nitori would like to follow him, and usually does, but he was born into a polite family and these people are people he's idolized since he was eleven, and so he bows shortly before turning and catching up.

The silence is stiffer than it has been in a long time. Nitori doesn't ask, because at this point he knows bringing up the past around Matsuoka-senpai is a bad idea. Instead he waits, and waits more, because Rin -- Matsuoka-senpai -- never tells him anything, but he never stops offering to listen either.

"...It's complicated." He says later, hours later. Nitori starts.

"What-- Oh." He remembers earlier, then nods instead of asking.

He doesn't say anything more, but Nitori finds himself understanding anyways, when Matsuoka-senpai offers to help him with his English homework. He has the best grades in the class thanks to him, and doesn't hesitate to tell him so.

When Matsuoka-senpai(Rin-senpai, he thinks in the back of his mind), smiles, just a tiny smile that fades as quickly as it comes, Nitori feels like flowers are blooming in his heart.

He swims that much better the next day.

* * *

"Your time is better." Nitori tells him. "By about half a second."

Rin-senpai grits his teeth. "Just half a second?"

"Well the best was a full second, but on average...But still, a half a second is a lot, senpai-- Agh!"

His towel is hitting him in the face, and Rin-senpai dives back in just as he pulls the towel from his eyes.

"Hey, senpai! You've already swam a lot today, shouldn't you stop? You're going to be sore tomorrow!"

Rin-senpai doesn't answer. Nitori supposes he should have expected that, seeing as he's swimming an extra lap back and forth, fast as he can before rising up in the water and giving Nitori an expectant glance, as if Nitori would have started the timer for that.

"Senpai, there's no way I could have timed that." He says and sighs. "It was really fast though."

Rin-senpai gives him a glare, sinking so his face is half submerged, and Nitori thinks that he almost looks like a shark. He gets closer, as if to come out of the pool, and Nitori crouches down to help him.

Instead he gets pulled into the pool, dropping the stopwatch on the floor on the way.

His jacket is going to be soaked, but his attention is on the wide grin that flashes by his face before Rin-senpai gets out of the pool.

His heart is beating too fast, and he surfaces a bit later, shouting, "Matsuoka-senpai, that was mean!"

* * *

When Rin-senpai tells him about his past, Nitori's heart swells.

There are a lot of things that he leaves unsaid, but Nitori has spent his time learning the language of his rough edged senpai, who will tell him off for not finishing his homework but stay up until two in the morning helping him with it. The Rin-senpai that wakes up shaking and pale, tries to push Nitori away, not because he's upset but because he doesn't want to bother Nitori with his 'childish nightmares'.

It's no small effort on Nitori's part to get Rin-senpai to open up. Nitori knows he hovers, pushes for Rin-senpai to tell him what bothers him, but it feels like a privilege to have Rin-senpai tell him something like his past. It feels like a reward every time he gets to hear about Rin-senpai's life, learn a new thing about him.

So when he learns of Rin-senpai's past, the sore spot in his heart that is his motivation, Nitori is proud of himself, for once. For being the weak person he is. Because this way, Rin-senpai feels stronger, even if he thinks he's weak. Nitori wants to show him he's wrong.

Rin-senpai, Nitori thinks, watching the vending light flicker against his face, you're much stronger than me. In every way.

* * *

His win is fantastic, the aftermath is not.

Nitori can't lie, when he sees Iwatobi swim the medley, it's as inspiring as the first time, even though they lose by a split second. Their butterfly section had been, for lack of a better word, lacking, but the team as a whole had been stunning, the power and the grace, and the something else that made it so wonderful the first time.

Rin-senpai stares at them. They're laughing, the butterfly swimmer -- his name is Rei, Nitori thinks back vaguely -- seems to be apologizing.

Nitori frowns. If it had been Rin-senpai, they would've won. It should have been him, Nitori thinks it would have been so much more stunning if it had been him.

"Senpai?"

He doesn't answer. Nitori tries again. "Matsuoka-senpai?"

"Nitori."

"Y-yes?"

The air is thick, heavy with something Nitori doesn't want to know. It's not a good feeling, foreboding.

"Who is he?"

"That's Ryugazaki Rei I think, Matsuoka-senpai! He was there for our joint practice."

"Tch, no wonder his butterfly is awful," Rin-senpai murmurs. Nitori watches him worry his lip, nervous about the way his senpai's fist clenches. "He couldn't even swim then, right?"

There's no chance he can answer. His senpai turns around and storms into the hallway, muttering, "Those idiots, what were they trying to do, of course they'd lose with that type of guy in there...!"

Nitori knows though. When he hears the sounds of Rin-senpai murmuring in his sleep like he usually does, his little, nightmarish whimpers of "don't leave me" and "where are you", he aches.

It's late at night, so maybe that's why Nitori says it outloud.

"Rin-senpai, I won't leave." Nitori whispers. "I'll be here." __

* * *

It's later that Rin tells him he heard him.

It's later that Rin leans against him and says, "You never did."


End file.
